Selling the Hate: Joe King's 2012 Calendar

[Thanks for Maybe it's Just Me... for posting this earlier today.]

It sat there for four months, undisturbed, on both the Barnes and Noble and Amazon.com pages, quietly accruing time and space (and overwhelming negative reviews) in cyberspace. I don't know how much money it made from sales, but judging from that that it's closer to the bottom of the pile than on top, I'd say not that much. Even so, it's there, sitting pretty, colorful, and pretty tasteless in every aspect.

I'm talking about cartoonist Joe King's 2012 calendar, "I'm Not Gay, I'm Just a Sissy".

I like to consider I can take a joke that might be risque, even borderline offensive. On the heels of me discussing the need to eliminate such derogatory terms like "fag", "faggot", "homo", "tranny" from our campy lexicon late last week over Christmas here comes this calendar, drawn by him, at first seeming to poke good fun at his own image -- King appears clad in some retro outfit that was the stereotypical way most gay men were seen in the 60s -- but soon becoming blatantly homophobic as he draws every month using some derogatory imagery. It's as if he were trying to slap an invisible audience and thus making his own out-of-touch point. A point I have not seen since the days it was okay to call a gay man a sissy -- cue Laugh-In, and many of Mel Brooks' movies [although to be fair, Brooks made fun of everyone.]. A more recent slur -- girly-man, used by the Governator, makes its appearance here.

His choice for February is particularly disturbing. "World AIDS Day", followed by "We all have AIDS." This is funny? Maybe for the likes of him, who see everything in black and white. I thought it was as tasteless as anything could be. Yes, we can argue it's free speech, but companies who cater to the LGBT community should think twice before accepting a product that promotes ignorance. If the book on pedophilia could be pulled, then so should this one. Both are harmful, free speech or not.

Now, you would think that he may  have recanted and gone the "I'm not a hater" route. Nope. The guy has stuck to his retro guns on his Facebook page. Read below:

Hoo-we! Hell hath no fury like a he/she scorned... The telephone tree of tantrums is lit up like a Las Vegas marquee for "Boy-Lesque" today with hate mail, threats of boycott and even the risk of Jesus spitting on me for my "Sissy" calendar. I SAID I WAS A SISSY UP FRONT. Ironic who the real bullies are isn't it? Let's see if I get a call from Oprah's people or even Anderson Cooper...

It gets better.

The "truth" is that AIDS is an "elective" disease.
It STOPS the day guys quit sticking it to each other.
And for the tragedy of women and children infected...
THAT stops the day their gay husbands and fathers stop cheating on them.
Anyone need MORE education, science or funding to understand THAT?

So there you have it. No apologies from him. What a classy guy.

Rosie's Top Five Reasons for Not Appearing on Dave Letterman's Show

I totally love this loud, brassy woman. You go, girl.

Sort of a Review: Stephen King's Bag of Bones

So . . . it seems that it's not as good as the promos made it seem. I should have known the moment Mick Garris' name was tied to it, that it would be overlong, bloated, so literal to the book, and absolutely LOADED in special effects. Ugh. Someone tell Stephen King his books deserve better directors and screenwriters. Even he admits that while a different interpretation, Stanley Kubrick's The Shining has grown to be the masterpiece it is, even when the end it flew off the rails with the buckets of blood and the skeletons sitting there, observing Wendy running down the halls. But . . . how do you actually translate ghostly impressions and other stuff and not make it look cheesy? King is a master of words, I personally love his writing, he certainly makes even a completely absurd scene of a character talking to themselves look like a work of art of the schizophrenic kind, but some elements just can't move from paper to screen without some serious chuckles from the audience. Or vice versa -- some of his stories flatly reek on page, but shine on screen if not given the photographic treatment. When I read, for example, the story "1408" and saw that basically the cursed room turned orange and all that remained was a screaming entity coming to get the guy I just sat there and tried to count to ten, slowly and succinctly, then I began laughing like a slobbering moron. The movie, on the other hand, took the premise of The Shining (and rooms come to life) to another realm . . . surreal, effective, brilliant.

I don't get Mick Garris' film-making. I probably never will. It's probably a personality thing. We're different at a skeletal level. I like minimalism and minuscule cuts of the likes David Fincher and Darren Oronofsky display, alongside a scene exploding in atmosphere. I like build-ups to a crescendo. I like strong settings. Mike Noonan, ably played by Pierce Brosnan, is the one thing that saves this mess from a total collapse. And even then, for the love of Christ he's not British, he's American! I had to do a double take when I realized he was talking to Matt Frewer and that they were brothers. And that's not all . . . really, the setting up of events, characters . . . this needed a case of the writers of Desperate Housewives or Twin Peaks to come alive. I just felt like such a crescendo of moments that could have turned this into Stephen King's version of Stir of Echoes / Rebecca fell completely flat. Seeing Brosnan running from shadows perhaps worked on paper, but in reality? Uh, he's James fucking Bond? Smooth operator with the vaguely sad eyes? What happened all of a sudden? I just sat there, sipping my wine, staring at the screen, saying out loud: "I think I just saw James Bond fight a fuckin' tree."

A tree. Oh, hell. When was the last time I saw that and it actually was scary in a funny way? Evil Dead. Yeah, Evil Dead. Oh, and The Ruins. Those were some decidedly scary vines, creeping into you and eating you alive. Holy shitballs I don't know what I'd do if I knew there were vines growing inside me. I'm already paranoid about a bunch of things. I'd probably go banshee nuts on myself and hack everything off until thew only thing remaining was my hacking off arm and nothing underneath my torso and even then I would swear I could still see a root peek out. Like the guy in "Survivor Type". [shudder] This was closer to what the climax of The Thing from Another World turned out to be - James Arness in a carrot suit. Cashing a paycheck. Good ol' James.

Let's just say that I think it's time for someone -- anyone, please! -- to step up, and make a real movie out of the stuff King writes, which is terrifying and extremely suspenseful. Please. End the misery (heh-heh) of his adaptations into miniseries. More is not better. More kills a story. I don't need to know the intricacies of curses. I don't need to know so much. Look at The Ring. It began one way, ended in another place entirely. No need for so much back-story. And it creeped me the fuck out, even so now, when I watch it.

So, to summarize, let me fake-quote Mike Noonan and his now daughter Kyra at or near the end of the affair with the bones:

Mike: "hey let's just peace out around the corner because there's no way anybody could have any more questions for me or anything and I'm not in the least bothered by all the ghost/curse/death stuff that just went on."

Kyra: "yeah I just saw the water ghost of my mom and Skeletor tried to kill me but I'm good."


End, scene.

Fetal

Coming Soon: W.E.

Madonna might score cinema gold, finally, at long last - not by starring in a film (she was always a terrible, wooden actress as most singers are) but directing. Fresh off of The King's Speech comes its side story - that of the scandalous affair between Wallis Simpson and King Edward the VIII - to the front, seen and told by Simpson herself, and a woman living in the present who seems to be revisiting the Simpson affair by re-enaction.

So far the critics haven't been too enthusiastic, being entrenched on the C - glossy, yes, but what of it? I'll be waiting for this one, not because it's Madonna as director, but because I want to, for purely cinematic purposes. And it will be coming out at the same time Meryl Streep's The Iron Lady. I couldn't ask for more.

In the meantime I'll content myself on this clip from W. E.

Stop, Look, and Listen!

think.

When Bad Architecture Uses Good Intentions

Twin towers and a cloud, twin towers and a cloud. Even the angle. Ugh.

If you thought Post Modernism via Michael Graves was bad architecture that made no effort to create anything new while overstating a sense of power and foundation, check this project out. Located in Seoul, Korea and designed by the Dutch firm MVRDV, two twin towers - one 54 stories high, one 60 stories become connected midway by a "cloud". The "cloud" is an interconnecting structure that is supposed to serve as an multi-use atrium that subs as a gathering place, the heart of the towers if you will.

The slight problem with this project isn't the functionality -- I studied Architecture, almost graduated from it as a matter of fact and the idea, conceptually reminiscent of Habitat67, an apartment complex built in the late 1960s in Montreal, Canada -- and I'm all out for interconnecting spaces and hive modulars in elevated spaces, and well, let's face it, if they have a couple of leather bars where I can unwind by throwing all my rage unto a willing sub and half an hour later emerge, fulfilled, and direct myself to a jazz bar to chat a spell with friends, I'd get jiggy with it.

The problem is . . . from the outside, this is the very vision of Post 9-11 anything, Slapping me in the face. An eternal moment, standing there, staring at me. So beautiful, yet a mute reminder. Oh, well.

Habitat67. I would do anything to live here.

A Christian's Rebuttal to Rick Perry

Two sisters make their stand against Rick Perry's message of hate. I'll let it speak for itself.

YouTube's Slippery Policy of Flagging Hate Speech

It must be some kind of accomplishment to have not just a very disliked video, but the most disliked video on the Internet right now. I've been watching YouTube videos from early on when it was just a regular hosting site and not the media behemoth it's become and while I've seen some videos become infamous for the amount of negative attention they have received -- does anyone remember Chris Crocker's claim to fame, "Leave Britney Alone" anymore? -- none have received an almost unanimous dislike as Rick Perry's exercise in career suicide, "Strong." To date, the video has been viewed almost 3.5 million times. Which is nothing to laugh at.

The likes? A paltry 16,000.

That is about 1 % of the viewers who like this video. Who agree with it. Who recommend it to others.

That is quite a small number of people, right?

And while I'm on topic, it goes to show that YouTube has a policy all right, one that portends to curtail hate speech and speech that targets minorities, sexual discrimination, and sexual orientation . . . but can enforce it at whim. I'm pretty sure the amount of flagging "Strong" has received should have ensured its prompt removal. Does anyone remember when (Lola Abrams) MissLolaRose's video "Mom on her Two Gay Kids" from 2006 was removed right on the eve of the 2008 gay pride festivities for alleged "sexual content?" All it was, was a woman explaining what it meant to have two gay kids who are now grown, successful. If it weren't for the media outcry that ensued, that video would still be banned from YouTube.

So why does Rick Perry's absolutely hateful message remain? Might it be because he may have exchanged some green presidents in order to payola his way into every laptop in America and the rest of the Globe? Might it be because YouTube has a habit of curbing free speech to serve its interests -- slamming the ones who talk about love and tolerance and allowing the ones who like Perry, preach doom, destruction, and hate your fellow man?

Quote of the Year: Lady Bachmann on Barbarians

I'm not sure if this one qualifies as the observation of the entire year but it comes damn close. So close, it's almost flawless and shines on itself. At the height of the Bachmann comedy hour, Lady Marcus Bachmann stated that we, gay men, are barbarians and need to be disciplined. And I agree. Oh, yes, America -- mommy fully agrees and condones this statement. You see, I have a tiny dungeon in my house in Jersey City that subs in part as a closet -- not the symbolic one but one that houses chic menswear that makes your hostess look positively dashing. It's a teeny-tiny roomlet with enough hooks to strap a stud on and leave there on his own, armed with blood, sweat and the tears of desire as you prepare for a night's full of meatwork. Wouldn't you? Oh, please -- of course you would. You'd bring that stud home from a bar, anticipation hand in hand, and do the Bachmann's work, which is to claim your barbarianism. He knew what he was getting into. And he'll crawl back for more and slobber my boots. Praise the Lord.

 

This is what you should do to Rick Perry's Video "Strong" to Make it POPULAR.

And yes, spamming is also most welcome.

Men Are Gorgeous

The yummy to look at Zeb Atlas. Uh, for the layman, this is a male model with a killer bod, if you are male and uber-straight and cringe at the thought of looking at pictures of men showing off their hard work because this might suddenly TURN you into a flaming, lisping faggot with maniacal jazz-hands and the urge for, well, Man Flesh . . . you need help. The internet is free, like a bird . . . you see what you want-to-se-e-e-e-e-e and block out the re-e-e-est. . .

Tee-hee!

Rick Perry Positively LOVES Gay People!

You know, I'm really wondering about dis gurl. I'm wondering if maybe she met a guy who she really liked, who made her hole positively salivate at the process of rough, man-to-man fucking. I wonder if that extremely hot guy not only took her love tunnel and blew into it like Katrina on New Orleans, dropped a giant load until it shot back out, and called her the worst fuck of his life. And didn't even bother to let her finish squirting from her own love-pole. So unsavory, but it happens in Gaysville. Love hurts, and so does getting your ass ripped apart, sans the Wet.

I'm suspecting that this is what's ticking him off so much. Fuck me one, well, lesson learned, but twice? Nevah! And I will dedicate my political life to Fuck You Back, you Faggots of this Great Land. Because I'm a top. A real man. And I screw vaginas. You hear me? Vuh-Gi-Nas. And I say things like this: "There's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school."

Someone, Anyone. Please. Direct him to a dungeon. Get him a dildo and some lube. And some amyl. Oh, and a sling. And a daddy. Dis bitch needs to be plowed back to reality! He simply can't hate what his pucker is quivering so much to love!

Ugh.

Hillary Clinton: "Gay rights are Human rights, and human rights are Gay rights."

In a historic speech following the President's Memorandum International Initiatives to Advance the Human Rights of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Persons, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton delivered a historic speech that strikes at the heart of the matter that LGBT activists and persons worldwide are trying to establish: that gay rights are human rights, and human rights are gay rights. Please listen to her speech, and then read the memorandum.

Thank you.

"My Mom is Gay And She Doesn't Need Any Fixing."

You HAVE to see this video - no, seriously - if at all to get the look on La Michele's face after the plucky 8 year old kid tells her "My mom is gay and she doesn't need fixing." He told her, alright. He told her right into her cochlea. You go, kid! Even when she doesn't do anything, ya gotta give it to her: that Bachmann knows her comedy.

Mah-Na Mah-Ma

Every so often an old clip gets recycled and hits the net and the ubiquitous social networking sites like Facebook with the fury of scorching herpes, only to fade to black and then re-surface again, months later, because the chain of people who viewed it on your page was so long that re-sharing brought it right back to your lap, two years later, by some new contact who thought he was watching or revisiting this for the very first time. Six degrees of separation truly doth exist, said the writer, and while Kevin Bacon isn't in this video, this is the original "Muh-Nah, Muh-Nah" from 1969, complete with what looks to be the precursor of a much hairier Conan O'Brien, assuming he decided to stop combing his hair, grow a unibrow and be reduced to monosyllabic mumbles.

Known fact: Sesame Street was a kid's show, but this song was the soundtrack of a movie that was most certainly not for kiddies. Composed by Piero Umiliani in 1968, Mah-na, Mah-na was featured in a very softcore faux-documentary film called Sweden, Heaven and Hell (Svezia, inferno e paradiso) and later brought into every household in America as a song in the very un-porney Sesame Street . So there you have it. Porn can be fun, and educational.

This Was Menswear, 40 Years Ago

 Tres macho.

Men Are Gorgeous Creatures

...and with this I'm off to slumber...