NYC Subways Were Filthier than Charlie Sheen's Goddesses

Ah, the long-lost days of subway graffiti and overwhelming filth that made your eyes ache and nose bleed.  'Memba them?  Add to that the appearance of pickpockets, muggers, strung-out druggies, a random dead body, and the general crazies traveling the NYC underground muttering to themselves, sometimes clothed or worse: sometimes sharing their private parts with your horrified eyes.  Wonder where they all went.  If they slipped through some hidden door this way of Stephen King's dream multiverses.  Now you can't even try to get high through adjacent inhalation of someone else's pot.  It's all cleaner than an Amazonian spring.  The sleaze is gone.  It's a sad, sad day.

Here is how the NYC Subways used to look, a quarter of a century ago.



El subway de Nueva York era más sucio que las diosas de Charlie Sheen

¡Ay, los días de antaño del grafiti y la suciedad abrumadora en los subways que daba dolor en los ojos y sangramiento en las narices! Agreguen a eso la presencia de carteristas, atracadores, tecatos, uno que otro cadáver y los locos que viajaban el metro subterráneo balbuceandose a si mismos a veces vestidos o peor: queriendo compartir con sus ojos horrorizados sus partes privadas. ¿Adónde se habran ido? Si se habrán escurrido en una de las puertas escondidas descritas por los multiversos de Stephen King. Ahora uno ni tratando se endroga con la marijuana ajena. Ya esto esta más limpio que un manantial Amazónico. Se fue la inmoralidad. Es un dia triste.

El video de arriba demuestra el subway de hace un cuarto de siglo.

Top 7 Worst Website Names

[Image from pictureisunrelated.com]

Shit Happens

People, if this isn't a way to end a relationship or tell someone you love them, I don't know what is. A Staten Island man was so flaming angry at his girlfriend that he marched over to her place, took off his clothes, took a dump, smeared it on her door, and set his clothes on fire.  In that precise order.  After his exercise in finger-painting was over he was arrested, and at the precinct, he decided to take another dump. I can only guess he was just being cheeky.  Someone get this man to Parsons. If he could do this with his own waste, he could be the next Chris Ofili and make challenging art.


Amores de mierda

Señores si esto no es una forma de acabar con una relación o decirle a alguien 'Te amo' entonces no sé qué será.  Un hombre de Staten Island estuvo tan recondenadamente encabronao con su novia que se marchó pa' su casa, se encueró, se cagó, se lo embarró por toda la puerta y le prendió fuego a la ropa.  En ese orden preciso.  Luego de su experimento de pintar con los deos lo arrestaron y en el precinto decidió cagarse otra vez.  Lo único que se me ocurre es que estaba de freco.  Que alguien se lo lleven a Parsons!  Si pudo hacer esto con su mierda ¡estamos en la presencia del próximo Chris Ofili!

The Panty Quilt

 “...no polyester, I don’t want none of them cheap, dollar store, not sexy farm girl panties. I want classy!” -- Louis Garrett

I've read bizarre things.  [No, the snake in the toilet isn't as wild, although for a guy like me who is picky on where he puts his perfectly worked-out bubble butt, getting a bite not from a man's square jaw as I wriggle it underneath a toilet seat might be a deal-breaker.  Oh, yeah, I get into those scenes.  Brownies, anyone?]

However, the latest to top the list of weird news has to be Louis Garrett, the Louisiana man nicknamed Shovelhead for his love of a certain type of Harley Davidson, who created a quilt of panties he collected over a period of time.  My question is, do they have the lingering whiff of snatch?  Because that is what makes the memories more poignant: the pungent memories of the soul of female fetish.

On the 2 in the Bronx

Waiting for the 2 train on Pelham Parkway Station, the Bronx.  Manhattan-bound....

Peep Show

"They Still Exist!"

Achievements

You won't be able to say Adele is suffering from a sophomore slump.  Since its release in late February, her new album 21 has stayed at the top of the UK Album Charts for 9 weeks, a tie she shares with Madonna, who spent this much time at the top with her Immaculate Collection 20 years ago.  Her first album 19 is sitting at the number 2 spot, unyielding to new releases as well.

And proof of a mainstay in sales is the fact that her second single, Someone Like You has returned to the top spot on the Singles Chart after being momentarily topped by Nicole Schwerzinger's Don't Hold Your Breath.  Quite a feat considering the rapid turnover of singles. Earlier in the year Adele managed to have this and Rolling in the Deep---her first single off 21---at the Top 5, a first since The Beatles.  Make You Feel My Love, from her first album 19, is still in the top 40 and has been since 2008, although it only became a top 5 hit late in 2010 when it climbed to the 4th position in October.

Howard Stern on Victoria Jackson: Priceless

It gets better.  Howard Stern takes on Victoria Jackson's views.

Hate Crime, NYC: In the West Village

You might or not see this in the local news channels, because it may or may not be deemed "worthy" of being broadcast, and because of that, I'm going to throw this out into cyberspace.  It needs to be read about and told to the world.  Silence cannot continue, not when someone who was minding his own business got his face pummeled for the fact that he was gay, and he was just there.  Not in 2011.  Certainly not in NYC.

Early Sunday morning at about 4:30 AM Damian Furtch was on his way home from work when he stopped by a McDonalds in the W Village and was approached, then viciously attacked, by two men---one of them displaying a tattoo of a gothic cross under his left eye.  As he was punched in the face, the all-too-familiar slur came pouring out from one of the perps: "You fucking faggot!"

Damian Furtch filed a police report and will now have to return to the precinct to identify his attackers.  This is a hate crime, and should not be happening---not in New York, where apparently gay culture has been assimilated into its fabric.  It is intolerable and a complete abomination that flies in the face of what Stonewall signified 40 years ago.  I hope that his attackers can be captured and brought to swift justice.

Lady Diana (Ross)

A little late, but yesterday Diana Ross turned 67.



A guilty re-post.  Wouldn't you?

Minimalist Sunday: Reds and Grays

I would bend over backwards, throw my legs up behind my ears and let myself be plowed like a mortar and pestle for a place this chic.  I have the guts to admit it.  A gal can dream....

[Image from Homedit, design by Neopolis.]

And Now, for a Little Eye Candy

I know, I know... I can't get enough of this blond Bam-Bam.  Kill me now, but make it hurt real good so I can go out with a bang.

A Quote from Clueless in Christ

Driving to the Atlanta airport, I thought about G, my lifelong college friend from Auburn. He drove with me cross country in my 1980 beat-up Toyota Starlet when I went to Hollywood to be an actress. He was the only person who believed in me. He knows all of my sins. I know a few of his. I always tell him I don’t believe he is “gay” – we went on a date once and even kissed. We wrote a screenplay together. He loves drama. I can picture him now laughing, “Victoria, what are you doing?! Your career! You’ll never work again in Hollywood! Oh, but Hollywood loves a scandal!” And, then the twinkle in his eye. I can see my best friend A, who I also tell is not “gay,” saying in his British accent, “Victoria, my shiny, shiny friend! I still love you!” and then the big hug!

Is it safe to say this baby had a hard-on for one, or several gay guys and she just couldn't accept that perhaps they were looking for a little more beef with their buns?  I mean, this is what she is implying in this ill-constructed paragraph that goes in all directions, like the swishing tail of a dying fish.

Let's deconstruct this piece without the squeak in her baby-girl voice:

Driving to the Atlanta airport, I thought about G, my lifelong college friend from Auburn. He drove with me cross country in my 1980 beat-up Toyota Starlet when I went to Hollywood to be an actress.

So far, this little ditty starts out good.  Let's call it the movie credits.  Nice music, montage, and a good pace.  I think it's brilliant like a glorious Sunday morning en route to a vineyard with nothing on your mind but the wind and the sun and the scenery.

He was the only person who believed in me.

Probably because even then the voices in your head and the people in your imagination probably didn't, Cassandra.  That voice, and the baby-talk, just doesn't convey believability.

He knows all of my sins. I know a few of his.

Honey, the same way a lady never reveals her age, a gay guy will only tell you what he thinks a fag hag needs, and what are you doing prying into another man's life, anyway? You can't be serious when you say "He knows all my sins" while wearing that ribbon on your hair and thinking you're the 'sinful' Madonna circa Like a Virgin.  Really.  The shtick is over.

I always tell him I don’t believe he is “gay” – we went on a date once and even kissed.

Honey, I've made out with fag hags over a slew of martinis.  I've had their boobies banging against my cheek, and even bit a nipple, but that's just because it was poking me in the eye.

He loves drama.

He's a cock-sucking, man-fucking, muscle-building, fashion-wearing, leather-loving, ass-rimming, teabagging, theatre-going, diva-loving gay man, baby.

I can see my best friend A, who I also tell is not “gay,” saying in his British accent, “Victoria, my shiny, shiny friend! I still love you!” and then the big hug!

Honey, unless any of these queers porked your eyeballs out of their sockets, unless hell freezes over, that hug A is giving you or the kiss G gave you really had no meaning.  Really.  No meaning.  Meaningless.  Nada.  Not a stir.  Not a quiver in the woods.  You might as well rub yourself a little happy thinking of an illusion.

Victoria, what are you doing?! Your career! You’ll never work again in Hollywood!

Vickie, you haven't worked in Hollywood for over 20 years.  I think your gay friend made a rather sharp assessment.  Now, if only you could.

From The Advocate: Gender Identity Bill Passes in Maryland

[Image from The Advocate]

The Maryland House voted 86 - 52 in favor of passing a gender identity bill that would then protect individuals who have faced discrimination when applying for housing, employment, or credit.

Now it's the Senate's turn to do right.

From The Advocate:

The Gender Identity Anti-Discrimination Act passed the Maryland house of delegates Saturday afternoon in its third and final reading. The measure now moves to the senate, where advocates feel hopeful about passage.
The 86 to 52 vote represented the first time a transgender rights bill has won approval in the full Maryland house. The bill, H.B. 235, would add gender identity protections to state antidiscrimination law in the areas of employment, housing and credit.

"Every Marylander should expect to work or live in comfortable housing without fear of losing either because of who they are,” said delegate Joseline Pena-Melynk, lead sponsor of the bill, in a statement sent by Equality Maryland. “HB 235 provides the protection necessary to make sure that every Marylander can live without fear of discrimination."

New Footage of the Japanese Tsunami

New videos keep popping up that give an idea of the scope of the tsunami that struck Japan on March 11.  This video, posted a week ago by YouTube user wngad869, shows the town of Oirase on the Aomori Prefecture at the moment the first, second and third waves (this last one the worst) struck.

Mommy's Nose is Scary!

And now, a totally cute way to start the weekend and forget about everything that happened 'til now. 

Watch Baby Emerson react to his Mommy's blowing her nose.

The video has garnered over 11 million views since it was posted on YouTube by mandkyeo from Ontario, Canada.

The One Rational Phelps Son

Nate Phelps appeared last night on the Joy Behar show to speak against his father, Fred Phelps, he of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church, after they'd threatened to picket Elizabeth Taylor's funeral through his sister's Margie Phelps' Twitter message.

TCM Remembers Elizabeth Taylor Friday, April 10th

TCM has announced that all throughout April 10th and for 24 hours it will air a host of movies starring film icon, two-time Academy Award winner and amFAR founder Elizabeth Taylor, starting with Lassie Come Home (1943) at 6:00 AM EST (3:00 PST) and concluding with Ivanhoe (1952) at 4:00 am, April 11. The list of films featured as follows:

6 a.m. - Lassie Come Home (1943), with Roddy McDowall and Edmund Gwenn; directed by Fred M. Wilcox.
7:30 a.m. - National Velvet (1944), with Mickey Rooney, Anne Revere and Angela Lansbury; directed by Clarence Brown.
10 a.m. - Conspirator (1952), with Robert Taylor and Robert Flemyng; directed by Victor Saville.
11:30 a.m. - Father of the Bride (1950), with Spencer Tracy, Billie Burke, Joan Bennett and Don Taylor; directed by Vincente Minnelli.
1:15 a.m. - Father's Little Dividend (1951), with Spencer Tracy, Billie Burke, Joan Bennett and Don Taylor; directed by Vincente Minnelli.
2:45 p.m. - Raintree County (1957), with Montgomery Clift, Eva Marie Saint, Lee Marvin, Rod Taylor and Agnes Moorehead; directed by Edward Dmytryk.
6 p.m. - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958), with Paul Newman and Burl Ives; directed by Richard Brooks.
8 p.m. - Butterfield 8 (1960), with Laurence Harvey and Eddie Fisher; directed by Daniel Mann.
10 p.m. - Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966), with Richard Burton, George Segal and Sandy Dennis; directed by Mike Nichols.
12:30 a.m. - Giant (1956), with James Dean and Rock Hudson; directed by George Stevens.
4 a.m. - Ivanhoe (1952), with Robert Taylor and Joan Fontaine; directed by Richard Thorpe.

More information is available on TCM.

Captain America, Shirtless and Beefy

I was never one to follow comic book heroes so basically I haven't seen anything with a one-word title describing the specificity of the hero since Christopher Reeve was Superman in the late 70s.  Batman doesn't count, because let's face it: Michael Keaton never sported a finely honed physique and used pneumatics to look shredded.  That translates to me as a dirty cheat.

So today, seeing the images of Chris Evans that have been leaked online in promotion for his new film Captain America, I have to say, I'm grinning from ear to ear.  Oh, I don't mind a guy who's beefy and I know I've been guilty of posting pictures of bodybuilders, but when it comes to the real thing, I love this build.  Maybe just a teensy bit more muscular, particularly around the delts, and a shade of tan couldn't hurt.  There, I said it.  Call me out as a pig.  Oink, oink.

Could someone tell me what's the situation with the fancy footwear Evans is carrying?

The People Vs Exodus

Today scored a minor victory for LGBT rights.  For people using the Apple iPhone, the app created by Exodus International---an extremist religious organization aimed at "curing" gay people (and thereforth embracing the teachings of Scripture)---was yanked out of existence after 150 thousand people signed a petition on Change.org linked to Truth Wins Out.  And while I am perfectly fine with stopping the propagation of hate and intolerance, I have to admit: I hadn't even heard of this app until it became an issue.  And I'm an avid app finder.  Of course, I also have the liberty and free will to choose what goes in my phone and what doesn't, and if I had come across this app, I'd have not bothered to even look at it.  What for?  So I could see something that could potentially bring a frown to my face and darken my door?  Who wants that in their life?

Not me.

I control what I want as information.  I've seen many apps I don't care for---and I bypass them entirely.

Even so, it's gone, people can rejoice, but here's the problem: who's to say that some people might want to do the same to pro-gay or pro-LGBT apps?  When does turning one off become an impediment of free speech?  I'm not sure that this is an area that anyone wants to get into without a heated debate, because after all, there are bigger matters to go after when it comes to LGBT rights.  Not forcing a company to cut the communication of one group while allowing another one to stay.  Especially when communication is the cornerstone from where the said company was created for, regardless of where it came from.

Thank You, Liz

Good bye, Liz... thank you for doing it all for us, when a government turned its head in disgust and tried to decimate us... thank you forever, from the bottom of my heart.

Elizabeth Taylor

 1932 - 2011

Goodbye Loleatta

She could sing the fucking pants off any song and even now she sets the dance floor on fire.  So much vocal presence, and too few hits, Loleatta Holloway had only one major hit song---Love Sensation---which was remixed in sample form on Blackbox's phonetically titled Ride on Time and Marky Mark's (Mark Wahlberg') Good Vibrations, although she did actually perform on the song and introduced herself to the 90s.  Many of her songs are powerful disco constructions that did so much for her as a performer.  Anyone who was around in the disco era knows Dan Hartman's 9-minute build-up to her towering entrance on Vertigo/Relight My Fire.  A hell of a performer, she was, and still is.  We remember, you, your gay fans.

The Rich Will Never Cry

The Kiss that Shocked.... Victoria Jackson?

I don't watch Glee.  It's not a show that interests me in the least.  I know that it has a giant following and it's produced a massive amount of hits (the musical cast has broken a record of most hits on the Billboard Top 100, amassing 113 past Elvis---yes, The King.).  Don't get me wrong: it looks like it's a heck of a fun show to watch, but I'm just in a different mindset and at that time I'm eyeball-deep in everything news.

However today I read that there was a kiss on the show that outraged a former SNL performer.  I thought perhaps it might be one of the men who made a deleterious comment but then the name Victoria Jackson was thrown around on The Joy Behar Show and most entertainment newscasts.  It didn't ring a bell.  All I kept thinking, who the FUCK is Victoria Jackson?

And then I saw her on Headline News, talking, and it hit me: that Victoria Jackson? The woman who could only play dim bulbs in a handful of movies and disappeared after UHF?  With that 80s up-do?

It didn't end there: then I heard her speak.  Speak.  My skin crawled.  My ears rang.  I think I may have farted out a tiny piece of shit, the sound was that piercing.  This older woman with the baby voice couldn't even enunciate a full sentence without sounding like an absolute moron as she tried to explain her dull views and even duller quotes from the good ol' Book.  It was a wonder that they cut her short in her interview---really, at this point, I would rather watch the Kardashians do their dog and pony show back to back until my eyeballs bled and I choked in my own drool.

The kiss was beautiful, though... and television finally got it right.

Finally.

I  may have to watch Glee now.

Body Positive: Beth Ditto

If you got it... flaunt it.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

This is what matters.

Under the Lunar Madness

As Charlie Sheen slowly collapses into a banshee heap after the Lunar colonies have sucked the living wits out of him, it seems that people left and right have decided to follow suit, all around, up, and down.  This should have been the week of living splendidly with the temperatures at a crescendo towards Spring.  Note to self: shoulda, woulda, Prada, which I don't use.  Oh, no.  As the Moon got fuller and fuller it seems that everyone I know who might have had a hidden agenda suddenly revealed faces only the living dead in the Overlook Hotel could recognize as their own, and others decided to dance the mad jazz puppet of the Man Upstairs and crack the whip on the just while the guilty acted with impunity.  Why is it that the People Who Are In Control Of Things are the ones who should have it the least?  Why can't a truly competent person rise up, get the spot he or she deserves, and act boldly, nobly, without resorting to personal offenses and sweatshop decorum?  At least the silver lining was in the midst: as the Moon, goddess supreme of all that is insane and has no answer says, just go out with a laugh, Ivan. It's just drudgery. Everyone hurts.



Fast-forward to 00:18 and that'll be me at the Monster, dragged up, laughing hysterically, into oblivion.

Steve Kardynal as Lady Gaga - Born this Way, Times Square

You GO, girl! 

Now I like it.  My ears won't shriek.

This is what I'm talking about... a guy happy to be in drag and dancing shamelessly around NYC... since I couldn't understand the pretentious set-up that would make Hitchcock barf in his grave, nor the sci-fi/Alien overtones.  Really.  No, really.  And don't get me started on the LGBT community she so passionately sings about---where are they? A triangle? That's all we get?  Thanks, Gags.

That's Gay: Out Magazine's 20 Gayest Videos

Can you blame her for being this happy?

Even when I was 10 I knew "Let's Get Physical" was gay and I wished I knew what went on behind closed doors of that pseudo gym slash bath-house.  I think this is why I tend to like guys with a lighter build---the look of the late 70s and early 80s, if you will.  Muscular, but not freaks.  Well, except Jay Cutler and Derek Poundstone.

And let's not get into Diana Ross' "Muscles."  Hallelujiah, sista!  I remember her on Solid Gold, performing, while some anonymous bodybuilder posed and flexed as his body shone.  Mamma Mia.  I really was born this way.

And of course, nothing prepared me for Right Said Fred and what happened 30 seconds into their video "I'm Too Sexy."






To see more, check Out's online page for a complete list of their 20 gayest videos.  Some are predictable (The Weather Girls' "It's Raining Men" and Madonna's "Vogue"), but you might be surprised at their picks.  Judas Priest???

Erotic Art: Superheros

It probably wasn't the intention, but there it is, innuendos and all. Gotta love homoerotic cartoons.

[reblogged from Bourgeois Nerd]

Small Miracles: Japan, After the Earthquake

With all the queasy speculation on Japan being on the verge of a nuclear meltdown greater than Three Mile Island, it's a miracle that a Sai Abe, a 70 year old woman was found alive in her nearly-destroyed home in Iwate and was pulled out to safety.  She has hypothermia but is in the hospital, recovering.

Arkansas: A State Devoid of a Hate Crimes Law

Look at this face.

Look closely.

This is the face of a hate crime victim.

Late last week Marcal Camero Tye, a 25 year old transgender woman, was found alongside Highway 334 in Arkansas.  It appeared that Tye had been dragged some 300 feet before being deposited where she was found and there were head wounds, but the statement issued by St. Francis County Sherrif Bobby May was that this was not a case of a hate crime. More than likely, she was caught underneath the suspect's vehicle who wasn't trying to drag her, and that she was the victim of a sexual encounter gone bad.

It bears to say that Arkansas is one of the five states that presently don't have a hate crimes law, the others being Georgia, Indiana, South Carolina and Wyoming.  And while not every crime that occurs can be considered a hate crime, this one clearly points as such.

Bad Idea: When Trolling Backfires

This weekend a video went viral and not for the right reasons---which would be comedy.  A young girl of the name "Pamela" decided to make a video where she thanked God for shaking the Earth and announcing His presence unto the Japanese. That lit up the Internet, the blogosphere, and people went in uproar.  Her personal information was posted online.  Her page got thousands and thousands of comments and responses in regards to this absolutely tasteless video, some going as far as promising rape and death.  Her home was flooded with non-stop pizza deliveries.  Then it happened she was/is subscribed to a number of pages that parody Christian Fundamentalists a la Mrs Betty Bowers and others.  That's fine and all---I follow Mrs Betty Bowers myself and have read Christwire, which really hits the mark on parodying those insane fundies---but a joke's a joke when it doesn't benefit from an international tragedy.  Japan is still under major stress with nuclear reactors exploding and the death toll, while not at the scale of the 2004 earthquake in Indonesia, is still too high for comfort.  I have friends there as well.  Many people do.  You just don't take this and use it as fodder to trash Christians (even when it's highly possible they do ascribe to these beliefs).

"Pamela" has since closed her account---an action, I believe, that shows her overwhelming complicity.  She did, however, leave an apology behind and it's also been duplicated by YouTube users, but it's half-assed at best.  No signs of remorse, mind you, marks her face.  Just an "eh, I'm tired of trolling, but at least I made you angry."

What a bitch.

Let's all grab our hands, close our eyes, and say a big "FUCK YOU" to "Pamela."




UPDATE:
On her Facebook page she claims she is NOT a troll---these are her views. So there you have it. Her apology video is not really an apology.

Kathy Vs. Palin: Part Deux

Just as was expected, Kathy Griffin got what she wanted---more attention in a positive way, and two extra shows at the Belasco.  This, people and trolls, is what happens when you take on someone who doesn't care and has a lot of backup to prove not just how misguided you are, but that you shouldn't throw stones when you have a big ole' glass house.  She went on The Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell to "refudiate" Palin's newest blunder.  It goes something like this:

YouTube Hate: Tamtampamela Thanks God for the Atheist-Killing Tsunami

This is why some people should never procreate, and why sometimes abortion is an option when you look at what you are about to bring into the world.  Looking at this anonymous girl gleefully talking to the camera that her bloodthirsty God shook the ground in Japan just moments after her impassioned praying to "rid the world of all atheists" and "turn them from their evil ways" made me want to reach across the monitor, yank her head all the way into my world, and stuff her mouth with a pretty long turd.  Gotta love people who fill their days with their doom and gloom beliefs and can't see beyond their fucking noses.  What a winner you barfed up, America.  What... a winner.

Update:
So it seems that this "Pamela" girl, who might or might not be a troll that parodies Chrristian Fundies, closed her account not before making a half-assed apology. The video "God is so Good!" is gone, but of course it's on the Internet. You can't run away from what you post on the net. If you didn't want it out there, you shouldn't have posted it.

8.9 Magnitude Earthquake Hits Japan

Just as I was about to go to bed I stumbled upon this pretty preoccupying news: a massive earthquake had just struck Japan at 231 miles away from the capital city of Tokyo, followed by a tsunami measuring about 33 feet high and issuing warnings for the Philippines, the Pacific coast of Russia, and Indonesia.  More on CNN:

YEE-HAAH!!!

Charlie Sheen is our Gaddafii!!! WARLOCK TIGERBLOOOOOOOD!!!!!

At least he's not wearing a fro of the likes that has not been in fashion since Robert Reed was the hottest dad in the world of Stepford families.  Or a pillbox hat.  Or worse... his own drapes.

Palin and Griffin: The Gloves are Off!

And I thought I wouldn't post anything at all about Sarah Palin.  After all, wasn't last week "Ignore Sarah Palin Week?"  Methinks it was.  I think she secretly wanted to make bloggers like me have something to write about, and since her political aspirations are in the dregs, her daughter isn't doing anything interesting, and Michele Bachman and Charlie Sheen have stole the thunder from underneath her feet, I can only guess she had to reach out from underneath her frozen ass, yank out faux-controversy on Faux News and try and look fierce.  While Jeanine Pirro, her interviewer, attempted not to lose her composure through it all.

And of course, anyone who has an inkling of Kathy Griffin's kamikazi act knows the moment Palin decided to come after her and invite her to come Alaska Griffin was and will be the de facto winner.  As slim as she looks, she's like the Earth---there's no way around her.  You can either take the joke or drop dead.

We can only hope Palin, Audrey Hepburn-do and twang, chooses the latter option.  Followed by her family.

Adele: Pretty At the Top

It was no surprise that last Thursday Billboard opened the week ending March 12 (this week), Adele's new album 21 opened the Hot 200 Album Charts straight at the top selling 350 thousand units, not including another 217 thousand that she sold digitally.  Adding to that, her first album, 19---the one that brought her a mountain of notoriety and praise---vaults back into the top 20, landing at number 16.  Adding to tha-a-at, her single "Rolling in the Deep" jumped thirteen spots to place itself at position 13, and considering how strong the single is (still) selling, is set to hit the top ten in Billboard's next edition.

Across the pond she's already broken a record of being the first act to have more than one single in the top five (the last being The Beatles) as she logs in a third week at the top with 21's second single "Someone Like You", as "Rolling in the Deep", which opened at number 2, barely missing the top, is still gliding strong at number 5 while 21 sits pretty at the top for a 6th week.

Who'd have thought that an unassuming singer with a self-deprecating attitude and great sense of humor could out-sell and out-do someone as pretentious as Lady GaGa?  Then again, when you have this kind of talent, you're going to outshine any attempts of legitimacy that can only come across as fragile, forgettable artifice.

Charlie Sheen is the Crimson King!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

No More Lonely Nights

Behold the "fucksaw!"

The Trainwreck Continues

His love for his fans far exceeds da luv of his two lil' boys. Considering that between his first and second tweet they were taken away, and instead of reacting like a normal father would... he baked this cake.

Keep it up, Charlie!  You're doing ju-u-u-ust fi-i-i-ine....

John Galliano: Ugly Ole' Queen

I don't believe in genius. I believe in humility. Galliano might be the trailblazer the media has made him to be, but to me he's just another designer who let his hatred leak out because he just couldn't control it and keep it under wraps. And while i might blog and laugh at the likes of Sheen or this piece of trash, I'm always reminded that in this world, when you cannot control your darkest urges, you become a monster.

Does Galliano know that he would have been front and center being led to the gas chambers in Hitler's time?

As if this weren't enough, designer Patricia Field, a friend of Galliano, came out in his defense:

"IN PRAISE OF JOHN GALLIANO Beauty, intelligence and energy would describe John as I know him.
Where in this trilogy could one find hate?
I ask you!
My second question is...What exactly did he say?

Story continues below

And the third is...
What is really going on here??"

- Patricia Field

Well, Pat, Patsy, or Clueless as I would call you, there are things you just don't say.  It's quite noble of you to stick up for your pal, but quite dumb of you to render his comment as something innocuous.  We all have our prejudices and are little demons but we know how to keep them bottled up inside.  Not go in a drunken tirade and barf up the things Galliano said.  That's what's happening here.  Wake up.

Trainwreck: Charlie Sheen Tweets!

 

As of this blog entry, Charlie Sheen has over 600 thousand followers... among them Joy Behar and Sarah Silverman

What he doesn't have is... his twin boys.  Later in the evening they were taken from him by the police.

Charlie's tweet?

Joy, Kirstie, and DWTS

Why does Kirstie Alley want to bash Joy Behar's vagina with her microphone? Dat gurrrl got sum angurr isshoes...

Maybe she wants to eat her. But not that way. Cuz she's not a bieber-luvver, finger-f**cking, tortilla-dancing lezzie. She does NOT vaccuum the carpet.

I know, the feud is a year old, but Joy Behar was discussing, albeit briefly, Kirstie Alley's inclusion in the upcoming cast of Dancing With the Stars, and the fact that Alley doesn't quite li-i-i-ike her that much.  Must be the hunger, the rage of a giantess who needs to---much like her sign---butt heads for no apparent reason that it might distract her from single-handedly devouring an entire country's worth of cake. 

Me wonders if she might be the reason Africa suffers, arms outstretched... please... please... feed us... while evil Kirstie sits atop a fifty-foot mountain of truffles, doughnuts, and a plethora of delicacies, laughing maniacally... laaaaughing....

"Caaaaake... I...! want! caaaaake!! Mmmmmooooore.... CAAAAAKE....!!!"

Life is But a Box o'... WHAT??

Love means never having to shriek "Get them off meeeeeeee!!!!" at the top of your lungs as they scramble every which way, maybe even inside your peesh.